Everyday Pioneers

The calling to go first and light the way for others.

Photo by Bobby Stevenson on Unsplash

The day was sunny and beautiful. I felt the breeze on my arms and face; perfect Florida October weather. It was the middle of the day and I decided to take a prayer walk at the lake behind my office, just to get out into nature and reconnect with myself. As I was walking and meditating I was reflecting on so much: the privilege of knowing who I am, the goodness of God, and my gratitude for everything. I felt the intentionality of this world. From the fact that I’m here to the fact that we all are here, and down to the coils on my head. I stayed in that feeling and really breathed it in. It felt so good. 

I found myself crossing over a bridge when suddenly, it felt like things went into slow motion. I stopped to look at the water and it felt like I was the water. I looked at the meadows and felt like I was the meadows. “Okaaaay,” I thought to myself, “this is really happening.” I could have gotten nervous at the intensity of the experience but I felt such peace, such beauty, such calm in that moment. There was oneness. I am.  I felt my body as particles as if someone had rubbed Vicks on me and now could just blow me away. This was an experience like none other, a memory I now go back to when I need reminding of what an Everyday Pioneer is and who we are meant to be.

Everyday Pioneers are people who have often found themselves walking alone; they have to. They have a  sense of self-reliance that sometimes can be perceived as rebellion or even defiance. Being somewhat visionaries, they tend to have an elaborate photographic memory. They are the ones friends depend on when it comes to remembering where they parked the car after a night out on the town or for directions to a place they’ve only been to once or twice 100 years ago. They charter the unbeaten path of the unknown. They go against the grain. In this world we live in, we’re told so many things such as  “Keep your legs crossed, “Don’t be too loud,” “Don’t be too black,” or “Don’t be too dramatic.” From such a young age so much from the external world is imposed upon us: there is religion and society and our families. There are schools and friends and institutions to keep us in place. And then there are the Pioneers. These people have always felt different, they came here to forge new paths and tell of the beauty on the other side. 

The Pioneers’ internal guides light the way and fear becomes our fuel and our motivator. We believe there is a limitless supply of wisdom and knowledge to be explored. We also see opportunities in obstacles and don’t stop. We say a quiet “no” to the things we’re told we should do, and instead, we move toward the whisper of what could be. Pioneers can’t stop moving forward, because once they see this new way of being, the old path loses its appeal. It’s like there is no going back once you’ve started down this road.

At first, when this moment at the lake happened, I didn’t tell anyone. I was worried that no one would understand. I didn’t want to sound too “off” or  too “out there.” But this connection to everything that I experienced, it was massive and life-changing, and cell-shifting. I recognized how we are spiritual beings having this human experience. We can also choose to have these spiritual experiences too. We can bring ourselves back to seeing ourselves as the spiritual beings that we are once again.

I’ve felt different for a lot of my life. People have told me they noticed something in me when I was in elementary school. I was busy daydreaming, alone with my thoughts, and a bit separate from others.  This only got more pronounced as I got older. I achieved some firsts amongst my siblings: I was the first to have children, go to college, get married, to talk about the things we didn’t talk about in our family. I was there to forge new paths, for myself and for those who would come after me. 

Forging new paths started with the role of motherhood; being a single mom is one thing, but as a thriving teenager is another. Everyone was nervous for me, especially the adults who raised me. I had seen what this could look like, but for my siblings, I was the first. I knew in my heart that I would step into the unknown, and the fears of those surrounded my own confidence and faith as a mom at such a young age, because I hadn’t seen anyone else do it. Looking back, I was being prepared as an Everyday Pioneer because I can’t lean on outside perception and commentary to be the mom my first child needed me to be. My choices may have led me to motherhood, but my path was undergirded by pioneering. As I live as a wife and mother, many children later, my path was inevitably hard and highly rewarding. We don’t have the luxury of choosing our circumstances, however, in spite of that, we have the power to choose the outcome of those circumstances. While we may experience consequences as a result of problematic decision making, often influenced by a collage of social factors, there is yet still an unexplainable confidence that arrogantly defies mediocrity and upholds the gifts we are to our community and culture when we lean into this calling of an Everyday Pioneer.  This can’t be taught in a university, and those of us who have Masters and Ph.D. degrees from the School of Hard Knocks, graduated as Everyday Pioneers. 

That day at the lake solidified something else for me, too. Yes, there is this assuredness that comes from knowing your role, and moving forward with it, but there is a deep loneliness too. Because to be a first in something, whatever that is, means there isn’t someone else by your side. Someone to say, I get it, I know exactly what it is you’re experiencing in this moment.

There have been so many tears in my life and so many moments where I have felt like no one understood. That sense of loneliness can become overwhelming. But it is also a beautiful sign that we are growing. To feel alone means you are going into a place no one else has gone before, and that you are leaving behind an old version of yourself, too. That loneliness is necessary. It makes space for the new parts of yourself that you are meant to become. 

The morning after that moment of oneness at the lake, my friend Nicole stopped by my house. I was still trying to jot down my thoughts from that experience and needed more time alone, so I told her I’d be right back. I went down by the lake by my house and, whoosh, down by the water I got caught up in that feeling all over again. It was something about being so close to nature that made it easier to access this portal, God’s presence. I felt like I was never going to be the same again. When I got back home Nicole was there sitting on the couch waiting for me. I told her that I'd had the most amazing experiences in the past 24 hours and that I couldn’t fully put words to it yet.

There is no one right way to be a Pioneer. I believe that in some way, we’re all called to be firsts in something as we shape our innate gifts and forge a new way forward for others. It can be helpful to ask yourself, What is it that I’m called to do? What skill or talent do you possess that others may not always understand? Maybe you’re already doing it and if so, keep rocking on with your bad self! Be sure you are fulfilled while you’re doing it. You can also ask yourself, Am I at peace from within for what it is I’m called to do?

We all need cheerleaders, especially the ones of us who are owning our own paths; who are going it alone. I wish I could have been this for my younger self all of those years ago. I want to speak to the girl who was spending so much time worrying about who wasn’t there showing up to support her. I want to connect with the girl who felt let down when she didn’t hear encouragement or wasn’t given some extra gas money. I know she suffered from those things she felt people should have been able to do for her as she stepped out into her own life with a little bit of fear and a whole lot of courage. I’m here to tell her that it’s okay for you to trust yourself, and in that pull from within tugging you forward. Take the steps and the rest will appear before you. More than anything, be kind to yourself in the process as the world around you imposes on you who they think you should be rather than who you really are. 

I met a woman named Leah in my twenties at a conference. She was giving a talk on exactly this topic of getting out of the box; of being your own person. She was older and had this incredible energy, and I remember speaking to her afterward and we ended up becoming close. She was so instrumental in my journey because she was the first person who provoked me to listen to what I believed God was saying to me; basically, to be a Pioneer. Leah was the only one I’d seen live that way. She was a walking reminder to me through her actions: You know how to live your life, so go live it.

For a lot of us, every time we step out to do things differently, we know there are going to be negative repercussions: someone will judge us, someone won’t approve. And while it will be lonely and no one will ever completely understand, you do have your people; which are your other Pioneers. Know that! I am over here thinking about and praying for these Pioneers every day. When I meet you, when I work with you, I hear God’s heart. Yes, these are my people. The world needs us. The world needs people doing brave things on an everyday level. I am cheering for you, for all of the things you’re out there experiencing. 

So feel proud of who you are becoming, and your sense of identity in knowing this is your path and your journey. Own it. There is something that happens within us when we do this, when we say to ourselves, I’m going for it. You straighten up your back and recognize that this is for you. That life is for you. 

Of course, there will be doubt, lots of fears, and limiting beliefs that may surface. But hold true to you and ask yourself how you’ll feel if you don’t do the thing your heart is telling you to do. Because the more in tune you get with that, the more you take the steps forward. The calling doesn’t get lighter, you will feel pulled even more deeply to your purpose. Take pleasure in that journey. 

There is something to be gained no matter the outcome. Celebrate that you went and that you have sought a divine way of living. You, the Everyday Pioneer, can put your head on your pillow at night and sleep soundly, knowing that there isn’t any other way, no greater value you can gain from life than from the experience of living fully.

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